Exploring the American Wilderness and Other Adventures

Canmore, Alberta, Canada

Imagine trying to wade through cement while holding two bowling balls above your head while also living your life. You see that most people do not have to do it that way, and you also remember what it was like to be more like them. The struggle requires you to make a decision to keep moving every single step. You won’t ever get out of the cement or get to put down the bowling balls. It’ll become more difficult.

I had my last surgery 30 days ago. That means I’m 4 weeks into recovery and can start working and performing physical activity in 2 weeks. Ha. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to think of giving even more to cancer, even if it’s called “recovery.” So, I’ve been traveling for the last 3 weeks. I wrote about visiting Charleston, South Carolina here, and Washington DC here. This last week I spent visiting Canada, which only gets more incredible each time I go. 

Having a chronic illness is like wading through cement and also being weighed down against your will at the same time. CHX2, who I wrote about here, knows this better than anyone. One of the many things that cancer has stolen from them was the opportunity to use their timeshare this year, and they generously gifted that to Barbarian Scientist and me. They knew that I loved Canada and the Barbarian Scientist had never been. They have great compassion for Barbarian Scientist and the toll it takes to be the caregiver to an unwell person, especially one you love. They wanted us to have this experience if they could not. 

Due to schedule demands, Barbarian Scientist was not available for the entire week, so I spent the first two days with two incredible women, My Therapist and Cairns (formerly CC and now Cairns because although she often finds herself lost, she is a beacon of encouragement and love for what we fondly refer to as the strays in the world). As usual, we laughed until it hurt and saw many beautiful things. 

The Banff area is about a 6-hour drive from Coeur d’Alene, and there are two hot springs you’ll drive by: Fairmont Hot Springs and Radium Hot Springs. I have yet to go to Fairmont but I have been to Radium a few times. Cairns and I fantasized about renting the classic bathing suit at the hot springs and being adorable. The three of us went to Radium and tried on 706 DOUBLE LAYERED POLYESTER one-piece suits before we found the size that fit each of us. If you think you might feel a little embarrassed that the suit that finally fits you is a size that is 25 times bigger than the size you thought you were, fear not. It gets worse. They label the size of each suit on the outside with large black script. We were adorable.

We also stopped at a waterfall I have shared before, Numa Falls. It is directly off the road, making it a no-brainer to stop and stretch your legs for a bit. I went before with The Expeditionologist on my first trip to Canada, written about here. It has changed a bit – Parks Canada has now reinforced a trail border with rustic fencing, making it more of a challenge to go directly to the side of the canyon. Or maybe it is meant to actually completely prohibit. I will never know.

Canmore, Alberta, Canada

We stayed at WorldMark Resort, in Canmore, Alberta, Canada, with the Three Sisters Mountains looking over us. WorldMark was great. It was spacious and quiet with really kind staff and was an easy 20-30 minute drive from Banff. Canmore is an adorable tourist mountain town with 3,809 gift shops selling variations of the same things, sporting goods stores, biking lanes, hiking trails, and friendly people at every turn, hoping to make your visit enjoyable.

Bow River Trail: Canmore, Bow River Loop, and Three Sisters Viewpoint: Barbarian Scientist is working on a 50k training plan and was scheduled for a 7-mile run the day he arrived in Canmore. He did not want to do a bunch of elevation after driving for 6 hours, and we were lucky that this trail system was so close to the resort! It was beautiful. Like everywhere here, the mountains are everywhere you look. A wedding was happening on one of the bridges, and there were a bunch of other runners, hikers, and bikers. 

The Legacy Trail: To my own detriment, I could hike every single day. Barbarian Scientist says I have no safety features installed. But, I’ve learned that my adventure partners seem to have the most fun on multi-day trips with me if there are various activities. Apparently, “various activities” does not mean a variety of trails we hike. So, I rented two e-bikes from Rundle Mountain Bike Rental, and we spent part of one day riding The Legacy Trail. The Legacy Trail was a project to celebrate Parks Canada‘s 125th anniversary and stretches from Canmore to Banff (the town). With a small side stop at Cascade Ponds, the total mileage was 29 miles for the day. 

Banff National Park, Alberta, Canada

Lake Louise Lakeshore Trail: Last winter, when Cairns and I had our nearly disastrous Not All Canadians Are Kind trip to Canada, we went to the famous Lake Louise so she could see it. All she got to see was snow. My Therapist definitely wanted to see it on this trip because it was her first trip to the region, so Cairns finally got to see it. Many trails and destinations/experiences are still closed due to winter conditions, but we did get to do the Lakeshore Trail, which takes you from the resort end of the lake to the glacier end of the lake. Lake Louise is world-famous, and that is evident when you arrive at the trailhead. Most people do not move beyond that point, though, so once you begin the very easy walk to the other end, the crowd is no longer existent. Lake Louise is fed by the Upper and Lower Victoria Glaciers, and the silt from these glaciers is what makes the water so milky and blue.

Johnston Canyon: Ants on a hill. That’s what it feels like when climbing the trail hanging on the canyon wall between the trailhead and the lower falls. There were so many people. In such situations, I am always reminded of what a shitty person I can be. First, I’m like, “Yay! So many people are in the wilderness and doing incredible things!” Then, I’m like, “Okay, but get the fuck out of my way.” And repeat. Once you get past the lower falls, though, most people seem to turn around because the crowd thinned out considerably. Despite the battle between The Voices of Good and Evil, Johnston Canyon is beautiful and is a worthy excursion. 

Banff, The Town, Alberta, Canada

Bow Falls Trail: We had tickets for the gondola at a certain time and arrived in town early to walk around. We ended up finding this trail, and it was beautiful! The day was all about climbing stairs, though, and it started here. You can park downtown and hop on the trail from there and hike to the waterfall, or do as we did and accidentally find the waterfall and then realize there’s also a trail attached. We parked by the waterfall and then hiked toward downtown. It’s a well-maintained trail system, with parts being very busy. 

Banff Gondola: Cairns and I did the gondola last winter, but everything was so icy and windy that we could not do the short hike from the top of the gondola to Sanson’s Peak or the Cosmic Ray Station. This time, Barbarian Scientist and I did the full experience. 

Banff Upper Hot Springs: Near the gondola are these hot springs. It is a beautiful place overlooking the mountains, but really busy.  Banff Upper Hot Springs is Canada’s highest-elevation hot springs. The best part was when it rained – not only because the cold rain felt good while marinating in hot spring water, but because it also made people leave. 

Cave and Basin National Historic Site: By the time we were through at the hot springs, it was too late to hop on a trail but too early to head back to the resort, so we came here. I came here with Cairns last winter, but since then, the park has made many developments with its educational displays. The sulphuric smell from the cave made Barbarian Scientist sick to his stomach. Eventually, the trail system gets you away from that and onto the marsh, where you have open views of mountains and birds, and apparently, a Grizzly Bear was roaming.

I would not have had this experience if I did not have cancer. Worse, I would not have had this trip if CHX2 were not also deep into their own cancer muck. As much as I love Canada, and I love these precious memories with these people, I’d give all of this up to not be sick. To not be with these beautiful people in these beautiful places and held back and held down by those feelings of wading through cement while having to hold up two bowling balls. To be dependent upon the goodwill of others to help when I can do nothing more than keep myself upright. The pain in my joints, the ceaseless sore throat and reoccurring ear infections, the headaches, and relentless fatigue. The sling-shot feelings between gratitude and enthusiasm and then also guilt and fear. I think I’m moving into the acceptance stage of grieving. Maybe I’m not. I have thought that before and I think I was wrong. I need a therapist. But one that will just let me write everything to her, and then she edits it and sends it back the way it should be. Something has shifted this last month while I’ve had only quality time and no responsibilities with people I love and who love me.  I will never accomplish the things I once thought I would in the ways I thought I would. But, I feel more ready to find MY way. And I feel more trust in myself to be able to find a balance between what I want to do and what I can do, and I trust the people in my life more to not just show up and support me, but also let me support them. Sometimes it makes me sad to think I had to get so sick to become a little less of a cynical asshole. But still, fuck cancer.