Exploring the American Wilderness and Other Adventures

Coeur d’Alene, Idaho-Morrison, Colorado Roadtrip

This is a story about friendship and love. 

Before Covid-19 rocked the world, Barbarian Scientist bought me two tickets to see The Revivalists at the Red Rock Amphitheater. There was no real plan on how I would get to see a concert over 1,000 miles away, but he loves me, and I love The Revivalists and travel, so he was determined to make it happen. 

Then, Covid-19 and quarantine.

Then, cancer. 

When the post-quarantine rescheduled tour dates were released, Barbarian Scientist could not attend the new concert date, and I was not well enough to travel alone.

Enter JM, who I recently named J-Go because of her eagerness to hear someone, anyone, say, “Pack your bags; it’s time for an adventure!” 

Remember, this is a love story. J-Go’s love for the world is so big it wraps around the Earth. She treats her heart like a boomerang- throwing it out “there” and hoping that what she throws out is what she gets back. She throws it out there frequently and with pure faith and love. 

“It is easy to love someone when they are perfect, when they are soft and light, when they are filled with hope and happiness. But loving someone when they are wearing their flaws like an apology when they are breaking down or when they are carrying hurt within them—that is when it means the most. That is when you must show up for them.” Bianca Sparacino, The Strength In Our Scars

Knowing I was wildly imperfect, she wanted to go on this trip with me. She has seen me be wrong, she has seen me sick, she has seen me weak.  Amidst all that, I wanted her to go on this trip with me because I thought she was perfect. What a shame to put that on someone. To drive 2,500 miles with a person and share many epic experiences is to experience their humanity in a deeper, more meaningful way. This was my first real vacation and my first time away from the attentive caregiving that Barbarian Scientist faithfully and sometimes annoyingly has applied ever since I got sick. Cancer was an awful road trip partner. Abba sang, “Every feeling you’re feeling is a boomerang you’re throwing.” J-Go was counting on that. Her heart was a boomerang. I was counting on Abba being wrong. I felt incredible pain and unidentified fears, topped with insecurity and anxiety. And I had no idea that J-Go could also be feeling those things. Sometimes the drive was very quiet. Sometimes I got to hear stories from her life as a young mother, as a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. Sometimes we sang to the radio.  But no matter what we were doing, it was heavy. And the further we drove, guilt joined the party. I felt guilty for being so sick and unable to be fixed by J-Go’s effort and energy. And I think she felt guilty because she had big hopes of helping me escape my unwanted reality, but everywhere we went, it went with us. 

And that’s why this is a love story. She was with me – the scared me, the confused me, the the-filled-with-cancer-me. And I was with her – the stubbornly-facilitating-joy-at-the-risk-of-breaking-her-own-heart her. 

There we were, wildly perfectly imperfect, wearing our faults like a crown of thorns and sharing the one thing together we could be good at sharing – a big adventure. 

Day One: 

1. Montana’s first state park: Lewis and Clark State Caverns

The limestone cave is named after the explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark since the cavern overlooks over 50 miles of the trail from the Lewis and Clark Expedition along the Jefferson River. Lewis and Clark never saw the cavern. However, Lewis and Clark passed through portions of the modern-day park. It is located approximately 45 miles west of Bozeman, Montana, and 60 miles northwest of the northwest corner of Yellowstone National Park.

2. Bozeman, Montana Hot Springs and Campground wrap up this sweet day. 

Day Two:

1. Hot Springs State Park, Thermopolis, Wyoming: bison herds, hiking, 135 degrees Fahrenheit natural mineral hot springs, a swinging bridge, a free public “bathhouse,” and all the sunshine and happiness in one place! 

2. Sonrise Grass Creek Guest Ranch, Thermopolis, Wyoming: This place was adorable. The land owners are the lodging operators, and it is a two-generation family property. The owners all set up a big fire in the evening and hang out, drinking and sharing stories until late.

Day Three:

1. The Revivalists at The Red Rock Amphitheater, Morrison, Colorado 

Day Four:

1. Dinosaur Ridge, in Morrison, Colorado, is globally significant and ranked as the top dinosaur trackside in the US because of the quantity, diversity, and accessibility of the tracks. Dinosaur Ridge is known for revealing some of Colorado’s first dinosaurs, including the first Stegosaur discovery.

2. The Dinosaur Ridge Trail has more than 15 fossil and geologic sites, marked by interpretive signage.

3. Triceratops Trail, in Golden, Colorado, is another interpretive trail with significant dinosaur tracks and beautiful fossilized plants (that I did not photograph).

4. Red Rocks Trail, Morrison, Colorado

5. Indian Hot Springs, Idaho Springs, Colorado 

After hiking all day in 100 degrees Fahrenheit, it was time for a huge public bath of natural mineral hot springs, surrounded by thousands of tropical trees and plants and geothermal caves with VERY hot water. The caves were epic, but no phones or photos were allowed, so there were no photos to show you.

I’m just chasing things that make my soul say, “Fuck yeah!” That’s all.

Day Five: Irwin, Idaho glamping and waterfalls: So. Goodbye to the epic 100 degrees Fahrenheit weather. We are back in Idaho. Idaho was doing Idaho things. We were crispy from the heat by now, tired from the wear and tear of a road trip, and now in drastically colder weather and there was no sun.

Day Six: Grand Teton National Park: We wanted to go to Yellowstone National Park on our last day. Unfortunately, it experienced a historic flooding event and had to be shut down. We found out because our friends began sending us alerts and asking for status checks on us, and then when we got to the Grand Teton Ranger station, the ranger on duty confirmed that all roads to Yellowstone were closed. So, we did what I think turned out to be a better plan: We visited all the things called Jenny in the Tetons. It was a really fun and great last day for me. It was mellow, we could go at our own paces, and the areas were small enough that we did not worry about being separate.

We stayed at Wander Camp Yellowstone, and we were racing a big storm system when we got to our tent. It was pretty miserable weather. The following morning I felt so much pain and exhaustion in my bones that I remained wrapped up in our tent with a book and J-Go went to explore Jackson Hole alone.

Being sick has taught me a lot already. It’s overwhelming to think of what I’ll learn in the end. That’s why I write – maybe I’ll evolve, and maybe my evolution will help someone else. Maybe I won’t evolve, and my steadfast stubbornness will help somebody. Maybe not. But, the possibility makes it worth baring my heart to you. I’ve learned that things don’t always turn out the way we plan, no matter how hard we work for it. I’ve learned that sometimes things change in irreconcilable ways. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken and that all plans can go awry, and one million things can be broken, and I will still be whole. I’ve learned that life is a love story and that oftentimes getting through the sad and scary parts is more about loving others than being loved. J-Go already knew that. Maybe her name ought to be J-Love.